My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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