wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize