the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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