god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize