I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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