I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
accomplished twins. life is a go
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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