idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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