Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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