be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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