Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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