your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize