His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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