Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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