Me. At least after what I've been through.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
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Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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