I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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