sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize