i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
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My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
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Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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