i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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