i just wanna soil my oats bro
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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