I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize