please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize