also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize