How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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