On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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