She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize