I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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