Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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