It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize