Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize