His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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