i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just googled if crying burns calories
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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