how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i want to swaddle you in tequila
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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