she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
how does that bad decision feel?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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