she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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