after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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