Define "chronic" masturbator.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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