Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cockslap morals
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
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finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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