Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize