drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize