Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize