I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize