You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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