I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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