I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize