I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize