yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize