i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize