Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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