and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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