I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize